Weekly questions with my comments.

I have been thinking all week about the weekly question. Since I have spent most of the week talking about trauma I thought I'd ask some questions about trauma.

Do you remember the most traumatic thing that happened to you? Do you remember how it felt? Were you able to talk about it? Did you ask for help? Did you feel you needed help? Did people in your life understand?




What is the most traumatic thing that has happened to someone in your family? Were you able to be a support to that person? If so what type of support did you give? Did they want you to give then support?


What is the most traumatic thing that has happened to a co-worker? Did you feel comfortable with them talking about it to you?

What is the most traumatic thing that has happened to one of your friends?  Were you able to provide them with support? Did they want support?

I ask these questions to make us stop and think. We are all in this life together and it is important to be able to provide support/guidance to people if they want it. I know that sometimes when people go through something traumatic they don't want to talk about it. Sometimes it takes days, months or even years to talk about it. Think about people who have been affected by war. Think about those who fight wars. I know when I was growing up I hardly ever heard anything about friends or family members that served in WWII but, the rate of alcoholism increased per this web site.  http://www.salem-news.com/articles/june082010/wwii-ptsd-pl.php. What about the vets from Vietnam War? When I was growing up it was rare for a vet to discuss what happened in battle. Almost every Vietnam Vet I knew was either an alcoholic or a drug addict. Addictions are a very real problem for those who have suffered traumas. That is actually one of the signs of someone who has experienced trauma. I'm not saying every drug addict or alcoholic has experienced a trauma but the rate of addiction and trauma is very high. From what I have read at least 80% of alcoholics and/or substance abusers have had a history of trauma. That is to high for my taste.

I know opening up about trauma can be hard and scary but it would be great if people would be able to talk about these experiences. It would be great if people had the skills to know what to say to someone that is willing to talk about a trauma they suffered. Unfortunately for a lot of us speaking about our traumas  got us in worse trouble. If I spoke about the abuse when I was young then I got more abused. Once I hit about 15 or 16 I didn't care anymore I was going to talk about it whether or not Ruth liked it. Sometimes family's work really hard to keep their "trauma" secrets. No one but my therapists knew what to say to help me. I lost some friends talking about it because they didn't know what to say or do. I lost friends sometimes because their family knew Ruth and didn't want their children associated with her children. Of course I lost friends because I probably came across very needy. I tended to share way more then I should have especially to people I didn't really know well. I have worked hard on that.

I hope my questions have made you think. Please feel free to leave me a comment or drop me an email. Have a blessed evening, Rosie