I wish there weren't stories like this but unfortunately there are. Another mother abused her children sexually. Sure, she apparently didn't have sexual contact with them, but the children were forced to have sex with each other, with the mother's boyfriend and other men. This apparently happened throughout 2006 and only stopped because the children were taken away from the mother on other abuse allegations. This child sexual abuse has recently come to light. What makes a mother damage her children like this? Some of my best guesses are; greed, mental illness, sexual perversion, fear of loosing boyfriends and drug or alcohol addiction. The reality of situations like this is that it is highly probable the same thing happened to the mother. This in no way means she shouldn't be held accountable for her behavior. Or that she should have repeated a cycle. This is why we need to have more research on the backgrounds of all people who sexually abuse children.The rate of abuse children suffer in general is high according to
http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics:
About 30% of abused and neglected children will later abuse their own children, continuing the horrible cycle of abuse. 5
Unless the adult makes the choice to get help so they don't repeat the cycle, children will remain at risk. When I was nineteen I made the choice to go back to therapy. The reason is that I knew I wanted to get married and have children and I was afraid I would repeat the cycle of abuse I survived. When I went to the first session and explained why I was there the therapist told me, "The fact that you acknowledge that you were abused puts the risk of your abusing low." He went on to tell me that a lot of people who abuse don't look at their childhoods and put two and two together. This conversation made me feel better. At that point I hadn't talked to Ruth in over a year. And I started to look forward to my life as an adult. Throughout my childhood I was convinced I wouldn't survive it. I had the belief that I would be dead by my twenty first birthday. I was still dealing with the overwhelming need to have someone love me. This was not good because it clouded my decision making when it came to dating. Not to mention that I still didn't know who the heck I was or what I wanted out of my life. It didn't occur to me to address this issue as well in therapy.
Of course at nineteen I was unaware of how deep and traumatic the abuse I suffered as a child was. I was talking to one of my children today. We were talking about a blog I read where the person who wrote the blog questioned those who survive childhood sexual abuse, as receiving a life sentence. Her opinion is that there is a grave injustice done when we make people perpetual victims. When I shared my belief and experience my child said, "I agree with the blogger." And went on to explain that my believing I was handed a life sentence is letting those who were my perpetrators win. I explained that I meant the long term affects of an adult who survived multiple traumas throughout their childhood. Ends up dealing with the repercussions of the trauma throughout their lives. I explained as a child I assimilated the abuse into my development and the long term affects of that do last a lifetime. I will have PTSD for the rest of my life. My child explained that this sounds like giving up and that I have spent my life plugging away despite where I have come from. I explained that was true but still the remnants are still there. I believe if I wasn't aware of this I may make choices in my life that wouldn't be good for me to make. One of the things I have definitely learned as I have gotten older is I am more aware of the choices I make. Especially because I am more aware of my limitations. Which means that I don't push those limitations to far or I can trigger PTSD. Does this mean I don't live a good life? No, I live a wonderful life. I feel blessed to be experiencing the life I have. That is what I wish for the children who's mother decided it was fine and dandy to pimp them out. I pray they are receiving the help and support they deserve. They certainly deserve to have the best life possible. Rosie
Published: Saturday, May 26, 2012 at 5:47 p.m.
Last Modified: Saturday, May 26, 2012 at 5:47 p.m.
A Gainesville mother has been arrested after sheriff's deputies
accused her of prostituting her children, forcing them to have sex with
each other and to watch sex and pornography, according to an arrest
report.
The acts occurred throughout 2006 and recently came to light when
one of the children disclosed the sexual abuse, the Alachua County
Sheriff's Office reported.
Investigators reported the five
children had been removed from the home in December 2006 for abuse that
was unrelated to the sexual activity. They were placed in foster care by
the state Department of Children and Families.
ASO reported the
children were under age 14, and one was as young as three at the time.
The arrest report states that one of the children recently told
investigators that the mother "taught them nasty stuff."
This chart illustrates the individual childhood and adult outcomes
according to the number of reports that occurred before the event of
interest. Because it was possible for some children to enter the study
period with a pre-existing condition, these are indicated as gray or
black bars with the legend indicating the outcome occurred “before the
study.” Chronicity is associated with increasing risk for all but child
maltreatment perpetration, violent delinquency, and head or brain
injury. In these cases, there is a slight decline in prevalence for the
highest category compared with middle categories, but in all cases
having reports was associated with higher rates of outcomes. (Credit:
Image courtesy of Washington University in St. Louis)
Perhaps you know better than victims groups such as the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center and the Texas and Iowa Coalitions Against Sexual Abuse. These organization find families are not reporting incest because our criminal justice system for fear of loosing the bread winner to decades of incarceration followed by a lifetime on the registry. These victim advocates are opposed to the sex offender registry and have filed friend of the court briefs on behalf of sex offenders.
Should familiar sexual abuse go unnoticed? No, but our current system drives reporting down, not up. I would not report a family member to law enforcement because I know the offender will not get help, my family may end up in poverty and I will know years of shame.
Last, you have not considered the awful plight many mothers face when they find one child has abused another. Does she report that child. I say no. Both your children will suffer. No one will get better and the abuse cycle will continue. Law enforcement and CPC today is not the answer. This is the hard truth Ms. Gilmore was exposing.