According to the FMSword Page the therapy I received was good and validates my surviving RA.

One of the things that got my attention when I was visiting the FMSwordF site was the information below:

STATEMENTS THAT MAY REFLECT SUBSTANDARD PRACTICES:

            1. "You have the symptoms of someone who was abused."
            2. "Studies show that (or, my experience is that) most people with [fill in the particular
                diagnosis or symptoms here] were sexually abused."
            3. "If you think you were abused, then you probably were."
            4. "Remembering is essential if you want to be healed."
            5. "This technique (hypnosis, guided imagery, sodium amytal, etc.) is designed to
                 help you remember."
            6. "Suing (forgiving, detaching from, etc.) your family is a necessary part of healing."
            7. "You have to get worse before you get better."
            8. "Your body holds accurate memories of past events."

One of the things I have been SHOUTING from the roof tops is that I have survived ritual abuse and my therapist(s) did not do anything unethical to promote an agenda. They did not implant in my mind that I survived ritual abuse. They did not do any one of these 8 things. I have said before that I have had memories of the ritual abuse all of my life. What I didn't have memories of is the extent of the trauma that I experienced at the hands of those in this "cult." Or the extent of their programming to prevent me from remembering what I had survived. My strongest memories are of being between the ages of 3 and 5 and being put either in a box or in a basement stair well. The intent of the box was for me to denounce God. The stairwell was to make me worship satan. At the top of the stairs was a statue of satan and I would be in that stairwell for hours and hours at a time. I wouldn't even be able to look at that statue I was terrified, cold, but not alone because during all of the abuse I survived as a child God was always there. He couldn't stop the abuse because the one thing that God doesn't have control over is a persons free will. Those involved in this cult believed that if they took away my free will as a child it would give them power.


 I have always been aware of my childhood; sexual, emotional and physical abuse. I didn't know the extent of the sexual abuse. The reason I didn't know was that I was able to dissociate. I have traumatic amnesia and I look at this as a wonderful gift. FMSwordF looks at differently. They feel that if a child is sexually abused there is no proof that they dissociate. They claim that there is no way a child wouldn't remember the details of a traumatic event. I say I am very lucky to have been able to experience the traumatic amnesia.


The reason I was able to remember the extent of both the ritual and sexual abuse was because I was psychologically at a place where I could handle learning the truth. I had gone through the intensive cognitive behavioral therapy at Yale New Haven Hospital. I was put on an antidepressant for the first time in my life. I separated and was in the process of divorcing the children's father. I started my own weekly therapy. I also started going to weekly parent therapy. Both the therapists who treated my children and did the parent therapy were aware of my surviving ritual abuse. Up to that point in my life I had only known how to be raised in a violent home, and how to raise my children in a violent home. In order for me to be a better parent I needed to learn how to parent in a home where there was no violence. I had applied to college, I was taking control over my life and I was an active participate in my community. I also started speaking out against domestic violence in print, at rally's and on the news. It felt good using my voice. It helped me to make sense of what I had gone through. It helped me to help other women and children who survived domestic violence. That is when I was able to remember the events that the traumatic amnesia helped me to forget.

I can say that when I started having the flashbacks of the ritual abuse they were intense. When you experience a flashback it is like you are right there. I have several memories of being immersed in water. As I was reliving my experience I could actually feel water all around me, I can't breath and am gasping for air. Then I could feel the night breeze, smell the air and see the stairs in the sky. I could even see the plant life on the lake. Think about a someone in the military who has survived PTSD due to their fighting in a war. It is like that. The terror was overwhelming and I thought I was going to die. I was experiencing the same level of terror I did when the event took place. The difference was that instead of being a small child I was an adult. It is so unbearable at times to know what that little child went through. As I look at my life I thank God for helping to get me where I am. My road has been bumpy at times but now there is smooth sailing most of the time. So thanks to FMSwordF for posting their 8 possible substandard practices. It helps survivors like myself to prove that we did survivor ritual abuse. Smiling and thanking God, Rosie