Grace and Gratitude

This morning I got up and went to Church. I have been avoiding Church for most of this year. This is something weird for me because for most of my adult life I have been very involved in Church. For some reason I was feeling like I wanted to just fade into the background. A motivator is that I had to go to two memorials this week. The one I went to yesterday really moved me. I like going to Church where you can feel the love of God. I have been to some Churches where I haven't been able to feel God's presence. I went to a very fundamental Church this morning where a lot of Hymns are sung. This brought me to tears. It felt good to be brought to tears out of feeling the presence of God. I am not usually a person who likes strict fundamental Churches because they tend to be very conservative and I am not very conservative. I really enjoyed going this morning. The whole service was on Grace it was something I needed to hear. Grace is so important in our lives. For me grace keeps me going knowing that I am in Gods grace, especially. Giving others grace is helpful to them as well. Knowing I am capable of giving and receiving grace makes me feel alive. Knowing I am loved by God and can love others is marvelous.

I knew I have been wrestling with things spiritual since I made the decision to write my memoir.


I came to the conclusion this morning that I have to feel comfortable enough to share my survival of RA with a Pastor. When I lived in Connecticut I did and it was great. Since moving over 13 years ago I have been involved in Churches but never shared my secret. I realized a strict fundamentalist Church would be the type of Church that would be open to hearing my story. They take the word of God seriously. They are not afraid of talking of demons and Satan because this is in the Bible. They won't find my story so outrageous that they feel I am mentally ill. They will want to guide me in Gods grace. To say I needed this morning is an understatement.

I have every intention of continuing to attend this Church. As I move closer to getting my memoir edited and sent off to a publisher I will need spiritual help. I will need support spirituality as I deal with skeptics. Keeping myself centered in God is what will get me through. I am very fortunate that I have good friends and family who are very supportive. I have been neglecting my spiritual side this year and today was a reminder that I can't neglect it anymore. I am full of gratitude for this. Keeping myself centered in God is what has led me to living a redemptive life. Blessings, Rosie