I have talked earlier on this blog about my fear that Ruth was going to kill me. I was so terrified of her that I slept with socks on so I could put notes in them that if I died she killed me. I hid these notes everywhere I could think of. I slept with a crow bar and hammer in my bed. Don't ask me how I got either one because I couldn't tell you. I was a 8 year old child at the time and I was able to think through how to protect my self in the event Ruth tried to harm me in my sleep. I didn't sleep very well. I was diagnosed with a sleep disorder in my 30's and need to take medication to be able to sleep. I take elevil for this. If I don't take it I don't sleep I am up all night. This is directly related to my hyperarousal. I taught myself throughout my childhood not to go to sleep before Ruth did. I also tried to stay awake because most of the ritual abuse happened at night. I would fall asleep and wake up in the car on the way to where ever their rituals were being held. Luckily I dissociated during these time for the most part. Traumatic amnesia is a wonderful gift and probably the biggest reason I survived my childhood besides God. It was different when I slept at friends or family's houses. I was able to sleep better because I wasn't worried about being harmed by Ruth.
They didn't know as much about PTSD 40 or so years ago when I was a child. Due to this my symptoms wouldn't have been picked up upon by a doctor. My diagnosis didn't come until I was 29 years old. I went through intensive cognitive therapy and it helped me tremendously. I will be on antidepressants for the rest of my life. It took me a good 13 years after that to truly have control over my hyperarousal. I can see where this type of behavior would make it hard for the people around me at times. Amazingly throughout those 13 years; I divorced my children's father, went to college and got my undergrad degree, professionally spoke out against domestic violence, became very involved in my community, moved to another state, bought a house, did foster care, started my professional career and raised my children. So while I was still struggling with PTSD it didn't slow me down from reaching goals I set for myself. That is the best thing. Even with something as debilitating as PTSD can be at times it hasn't stopped me from moving forward in my life. It has given me bumps in the roads and some times sink holes but I made it to the other side and for that I was always be grateful. Rosie
What Is PTSD?
- Combat exposure
- Child sexual or physical abuse
- Terrorist attack
- Sexual or physical assault
- Serious accidents, like a car wreck
- Natural disasters, like a fire, tornado, hurricane, flood, or earthquake
How does PTSD develop?
Most people who go through a trauma have some symptoms at the beginning. Only some will develop PTSD over time. It isn't clear why some people develop PTSD and others don't.
Whether or not you get PTSD depends on many things:
- How intense the trauma was or how long it lasted
- If you were injured or lost someone important to you
- How close you were to the event
- How strong your reaction was
- How much you felt in control of events
- How much help and support you got after the event
What are the symptoms of PTSD?
PTSD symptoms usually start soon after the traumatic event, but they may not appear until months or years later. They also may come and go over many years. If the symptoms last longer than 4 weeks, cause you great distress, or interfere with your work or home life, you might have PTSD.There are four types of symptoms of PTSD:
- Reliving the event (also called re-experiencing symptoms) You may have bad memories or nightmares. You even may feel like you're going through the event again. This is called a flashback.
- Avoiding situations that remind you of the event You may try to avoid situations or people that trigger memories of the traumatic event. You may even avoid talking or thinking about the event.
- Feeling numb You may find it hard to express your feelings. Or, you may not be interested in activities you used to enjoy. This is another way to avoid memories.
- Feeling keyed up (also called hyperarousal) You may be jittery, or always alert and on the lookout for danger. This is known as hyperarousal.
Can children have PTSD?
Children can have PTSD too. They may have symptoms described above or other symptoms depending on how old they are. As children get older, their symptoms are more like those of adults. Here are some examples of PTSD symptoms in children:- Children age birth to 5 may get upset if their parents are not close by, have trouble sleeping, or suddenly have trouble with toilet training or going to the bathroom.
- Children age 6 to 11 may act out the trauma through play, drawings, or stories. Some have nightmares or become more irritable or aggressive. They may also want to avoid school or have trouble with schoolwork or friends.
- Children age 12 to 18 have symptoms more similar to adults: depression, anxiety, withdrawal, or reckless behavior like substance abuse or running away.
What other problems do people with PTSD experience?
People with PTSD may also have other problems. These include:- Feelings of hopelessness, shame, or despair
- Depression or anxiety
- Drinking or drug problems
- Physical symptoms or chronic pain
- Employment problems
- Relationship problems, including divorce
Will I get better?
"Getting better" means different things for different people, and not everyone who gets treatment will be "cured." Even if you continue to have symptoms, however, treatment can help you cope. Your symptoms don't have to interfere with your everyday activities, work, and relationships.What treatments are available?
When you have PTSD, dealing with the past can be hard. Instead of telling others how you feel, you may keep your feelings bottled up. But treatment can help you get better. There are two main types of treatment, psychotherapy (sometimes called counseling) and medication. Sometimes people combine psychotherapy and medication.Psychotherapy for PTSD
Psychotherapy, or counseling, involves meeting with a therapist. There are different types of psychotherapy:- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is the most effective treatment for PTSD. There are different types of CBT. such as cognitive therapy and exposure therapy.
- One type is Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) where you learn skills to understand how trauma changed your thoughts and feelings.
- Another type is Prolonged Exposure (PE) therapy where you talk about your trauma repeatedly until memories are no longer upsetting. You also go to places that are safe, but that you have been staying away from because they are related to the trauma.
- A similar kind of therapy is called eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). This therapy involves focusing on sounds or hand movements while you talk about the trauma.
Medications for PTSD
Medications can be effective too. A type of drug known as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), which is also used for depression, is effective for PTSD. Another medication called Prazosin has been found to be helpful in decreasing nightmares related to the trauma.IMPORTANT: Benzodiazepines and atypical antipsychotics should generally be avoided for PTSD treatment because they do not treat the core PTSD symptoms.
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